Robert and I made the move from Dallas to Jacksonville in May. He had already been here for a few months, and I was reluctantly entering into a move halfway across the country. I had never lived more than an hour away from my family my whole life; my family means everything in this world to me. I wanted nothing more in this world than to marry Robert and spend my life being his wife, but I had no idea how well I would react to a move like this. Not only did it terrify me, it broke my heart to leave behind my family. The morning of the move was horrible...there is no possible way for me to put into words the sadness and loss that my heart felt as we pulled away from my parents house. A feeling that still has not fully gone away. I have not talked about it to anyone, mainly because it hurts too much, but also because I feel a little foolish to have these thoughts. I mean, you're probably thinking "Sara you're 23 years old and married now, it is time to grow up and move on" and you would definitely be right. However, I was not raised to to just easily walk away from things, especially family. I am one of the most family oriented people alive....the day my niece Alyson cried because I was leaving is something I still dream about to this day.
That being said, the hardest part about everything, is how unbelievably hard it has been for me to find my stride here in Jacksonville. Life here is just so different than life is back home. Jacksonville is not somewhere I would ever want to live again. Don't get me wrong, the weather is great, being so close to the beautiful beaches is amazing, and anywhere that my husband is, is definitely where I want to be. Outside of these though, Jacksonville sucks. I have never seen so many ghetto places in one town in my whole life. There is also the fact that it has been way more difficult to find girl friends here than it was back home. I don't know if it is because I have become resistant to allow new people to enter my life, or if it is because there really aren't that many females here that I see as good friend potential. On top of everything, our house is nowhere near how I want it to look, and unless I find away to literally start growing money then I have a feeling that it won't be there for a long time. I am hoping to join some clubs, like a navy wives club, or doing something that allows me to have more interaction with different people. Who knows, maybe now that I am working things will start to get a lot better. Hopefully, I can start mixing the lemons in life with some of the grey goose in my freezer and create a good time rather than concentrating so hard on the sour parts of life.
I liked this, it made me feel like I wasn't alone. I felt like I was reading about my move from California to Virginia. I cried SO hard the night before I left, just about as hard as I cried when I watched Mike's bus pull away. It's not an easy thing to do, leaving your family, but it sure as hell makes us strong women. And let me tell you, there's no place like home. We, or at least I, HATE virginia, absolutely HATE it. As far as the friends thing, I don't think I made a real friend until about 2 months after we moved. I had a few hit and misses on some of the girls because they were so.. different. I just did ALOT of facebook research to find groups to meet the other wives in the area, and now that I've found my "BFF" i feel like I'm gonna lose her because we'll be moving again, but, that's military life! Just keep your head up and whenever you're feeling down, just look over at your hubby and think "Love conquers all." :-)
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